Musings- New Year, New Worry

It’s your life – but only if you make it so. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Happy New Year. I know it’s the first of February today and a bit late to be saying happy New Year but I just haven’t been able to put words together for a blog post for a long time. I have had a set back which has involved a hospital stay on 26 December, several MRIs, X-Rays and other tests. I am still waiting for answers and find myself now playing a waiting game for a bone marrow biopsy which is happening on Wednesday of this week.

My medical team have ruled out a number of things but it does can’t explain all the symptoms I am having. They now need to rule out a return of the cancer – a return of the myeloma. This can only be done absolutely by a bone marrow biopsy. It’s not the nicest of tests to have to do but I am saying yes to everything so as we can get some answers. It could well be that this is all related to my disc issue in my back but because of my history, they have to be scrupulous about my case and be absolutely certain that they are not missing anything.

When I first felt ill on 26 December of last year we went to a local hospital. I was upset at having to leave the family on the day after Christmas – my favourite day of Christmas. We arrived at the hospital at 12 noon. There was a lot of waiting around and a lot of tests. I sent my hubby home and sat back in the cubicle to wait it out. There were questions and more questions. My hubby arrived back in the late afternoon. I was hoping to be allowed home with him. A doctor came into me at about 10pm and said that he wanted MRI scans and some Cat Scans as he needed to rule out a brain tumour or MS. Seriously! My luck would have to be pretty bad to end up with either of these things. I struggled at first with saying yes to the tests. I wanted to leave and go to see my team in the hospital in Dublin. My hubby persuaded me to stay and have the tests. It was an awful thing to be left with the day after Christmas. It was horrible to be in hospital – again! It was horrible to be away from the kids during a holiday – again! It was horrible.

Before my hubby left he made me promise that I wouldn’t GOOGLE anything about tumours or MS. Ah now! Sure I am human. Of course I was tempted to GOOGLE things. I started to type in the word MS and stopped. I told myself that all I was dealing with at that moment were new tests. It was tough to settle that night.

When morning arrived my docs came to see me and told me I could go home. I was relieved to be getting home to continue Christmas.

Since then I have had the MRIs and I am now awaiting the bone marrow biopsy. I am hoping that it’s not a return of the cancer. I am hoping that it will turn out to be something a lot simpler. I am hoping …..

I don’t have many more words for the moment. I just wanted to share an update in case people were wondering where I have been.






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