Musings – Good News after weeks of uncertainty

Good news is rare these days, and every glittering ounce of it should be cherished and hoarded and worshipped like a priceless diamond. – Hunter S Thompson

Those of you who regularly read this blog will know from a couple of posts ago that I have had an unsettling new year so far.

After a series of tests in early January, having been told I might have a brain tumour or MS, I finally got some results. The MRIs are clear of tumours.

I was asked to have more tests by my haematology team which included bloods and a bone marrow biopsy. The biopsy was extremely unpleasant and I was in pain for a few days afterwards. It needed to be done to rule out a return of my cancer. I had to wait a week for the results.

Driving to the hospital for the results was a repeat of the trip on 26 September 2007 when I was waiting to find out if the transplant had worked. While I was fairly confident that I was going to be okay, there was still the niggle of doubt at the back of the mind. I have rehearsed over and over again how I will react when I am told the cancer will return, but when you are in the moment and know that the results are seconds away, all plans and logic go out the window!

As I sat waiting for the call, I saw my consultant come in and take my chart. I knew the results were imminent and I was distracting myself by checking email. An email arrived that very second from my husband with the words “you only live once” and a link to our confirmation of tickets for Bruce Springsteen in the Summer. I was over the moon. Then a text arrived from my daughter telling me that one of her friends had lost her Dad the night before. I could feel a tear roll down my cheek as I knew that Emma was feeling every bit of the loss of her friend’s Dad. I know she has thought the worst about me at times.

My consultant called my name and brought me into the consulting room. I could feel my heart rate increasing as there seemed to be something different in his mannerism towards me. Shit! This is it! It’s back.

He waited for me to sit down and said the words “the marrow is clear of myeloma which is great news”.

GREAT NEWS! THE BEST NEWS! Whew! I breathed a sign of relief and started to feel my bottom lip trembling with tears of relief. I am not sure how or why I held it together, probably because I had questions about what was next.

I thanked the doctor and was on my way.

I had to make phone calls to Bryan and Emma as I knew they were waiting for news. Then a quick update to Facebook as I had shared the news there about the tests and results today.

Then it was back to life, again!

I am grateful for the good news and now I can get on with getting busy living again and maybe even planning that Christmas dinner in March or April!

B xxxxx

 

 

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